so there's now a need for girls to get plugged into lifegroups at midtown. this is the email bailey sent me:
Hey Georgina,
I was hoping to be able to find some spots elsewhere to connect some new girls because I know your group wanted to stay the same for a little while longer. However, I can't find those spots anywhere. I've got four junior women looking to get plugged in. I'd really appreciate it if you and your group might reconsider welcoming them in since there just isn't any other place for them to go right now. A bonus is I actually think these girls will be a great fit in your group, too.
Sorry to be pestering about this!
Thanks!
soooo. we need to be super super intentional and pray about this again.
pray that the lord with push aside our selfishness, and that we can just focus on what he wants.
it's tough, but we need to do this again.
love you guys
DO NOT GLOAT OVER ME, MY ENEMY! THOUGH I HAVE FALLEN, I WILL RISE. THOUGH I SIT IN DARKNESS, THE LORD WILL BE MY LIGHT.
wow. i read that and was just like man. God is so good and strong and powerful and awesome. satan like to mess with my thought and try to come in and get in-between me and God and ruin everything and try to distract me and make me believe his lies. and when i do start listening, he thinks he has won. WRONG. i may have fallen in that moment for his lies, but God has won the war. my heart belongs to him, not satan and all his junk.
also. jon foreman is just. asdfghjkl. amazing. i love listening to him. ive been reading micah the past few days and today i finished it with chapter 7. jon foreman did a song called equally skilled. which i already loved. and then tonight i was reading and i was like hey. that sounds familiar. and then i realized why. jon foreman used those exact words in that song. and i ve recognized in several other songs where he does that. so beautiful.
also. i was reading katie brewers blog yesterday and i saw something super cool. she wrote "So I said Satan, shut your mouth." and then she went on to explain how she says that to satan or yells it at him or whatever quite often. and i just really like that saying and i do believe i will steal it from her. and i think i will probs start saying out loud when i need to. because satan has figured out that he can really mess with my thoughts. sometimes i can fight him of by just starting to sing to myself or just start praying some but sometimes that doesnt cutting it. like at one point tonight during worship satan just came full on in attack mode and i could distract myself. i just had to stop what i was doing, keep my eyes open (because i think it was during prayer time) and just beg God for help. ick (to satan). so i guess thats a prayer request.
also. i am so ridiculously blessed to do life with you girls. yall are the best. ily.
kelly.
so on sunday afternoon i'm going to greenville with kathryn for gary's funeral.
it's going to be difficult. i didn't want to go to the funeral, because there comes a point where funerals don't really mean anything to you anymore. i've learned how to deal with things without have a specific event end them. but kathryn asked me to go with her, and her going is a pretty big deal.
freshman year when our friend amy died, kathryn wouldn't go to the funeral. but now she's voluntarily going.
also, it's a taiwanese funeral. which will be different. just pray that jesus can be glorified like crazy. and pray that when kathryn and i talked about the funeral, god speaks and i don't.
georgina
Ok so,
1. Bre
2. Sleep test
3. Tyler
4. this week
1. Bre left the hospital on Monday night. I have not talked to her since she got out but i've been trying to contact her...but i will be seeing her on Friday this week. please pray about how i approach her and talk with her. and give me courage to really tell her about all that Jesus can do for her.
2. My sleep test showed that i do suffer from sleep apnea. this is just soo awesome because it accounts for SOO many of the problems in my life like the depression, tiredness, lack of an attention span, my memory problems. im just soo happy that it makes me cry bc i just cant imagine what life is going to be like once this is fixed and things get better. i feel like i will be a completely new person, and that scares and excites me all the same time its ridiculous. im just so excited.
so the treatment for this is either the use of a machine every night or perhaps a surgery which would remove my tonsils and the hangy thing in my throat and something behind my nose. im really hoping for the surgery bc i dont want to have to deal with the machine, but we will see what my doctor says. im actually going to get fitted for the machine on thursday night and then leaving for ohio.
3. ok...so tyler and i are really really REALLY over. its going to be hard for a while, but this is soo the right thing and the right time its ridiculous. i messed up and i got involved when my heart wasnt in it at all. someday ill learn what love is really like and ill laugh and kick myself for this. its going to be weird to have him out of my life, esp like six months from now when im wondering what hes doing with his life, who he is with, where he lives...its going to be hard. really hard. but this is soo the right thing. im not going to marry him. and i mean, i know that now, but if God wants us to be married He will do His thing, no doubt. but it would require tyler being a totally different person.
oh yea, so ive decided i will now marry Tim Tebow. hopefully we can get past the difference of me cheering for ohio state while hes a gator ;)
and ohemgee, Death Cab for Cutie is seriously putting words to all of my thoughts right now its ridiculous. check out the songs- Someday You Will Be Loved and Crooked Teeth and Summer Skin
4. ok so overall, this week has been the perfect storm and im only half way through it. but i have like such a BIG smile inside bc i know God is making everything fall into place for me. like with the sleep apnea and everything with that, to tyler, and bre who i will get to see, and with the Uganda thing. life is soo awesome right now its ridiculous. i feel like im going to be a whole new person in just a little while. im so sad about the things im leaving behind but im soo freakin happy for the things to come. life is just soo good im crying happy tears right now. more like sobbing them. PRAISE JESUS.
im exhausted and have to get up early tomorrow so this is gonna be a short one.
today i had to do an interview for a class with the carolina childrens home. so i have an idea about serving with another lifegroup. more on this later.
tonight i babysat with amanda for the pratts. it was so incredible. i cant even explain it right now. my brain isnt functioning enough. it was just such a blessing. the kids were cool but amanda and i got to have good solid chat time. and i got to cuddle with kia and hold and rock him until he went to sleep. and when alicia got home after lifegroup me and her and amanda talked for like. 45 minutes to an hour. and it was amazing. she is just incredible and has such a great heart and that family is the greatest and ill have to write more later. i just really cant wait to baby sit for them again.
please please pray for court tomorrow. ill be there at about 10 until whenever. pray that it gets dropped from my record. and that im safe and dont freak out or anything.
love yall.
kelly.
it probs would have been a good idea for me to include prayer requests before i submitted...
my grandfather is feeling so much better. the only pain he is having is from the incesion and thats just about gone. and he is able to sleep through the night and get good rest now. he hasnt been able to do that in quite a while. so thats a huge praise.
they still dont know whats going on with whit. she went to atlanta today and met with a crohn's specialist or something. i dont really know how that went. i think her pain level is about the same.
i go on wednesday morning to court about my speeding ticket. its about an hour and a half to two hours away. please just pray that ill be calm through the whole thing and that satan wont freak me out on the way there or while im waiting or anything. and please please pray that its dropped from my record. it would be great if the fine was reduced but i just really really want it off my record so it wont affect insurance or anything.
im trying to find a job right now thats not too many hours and is flexible. ive got a few places in mind that i would really like to work at so please pray that i get a job and its at one of those places.
the end.
im still in 2 kings right now. and a few thoughts keep hitting me over and over throughout this book and 1 kings.
Israel- God's people- never seem to learn. they'll have a great king and be all about God. then that king dies. so generation after generation they worship other gods and just go crazy for paganism. and then God will hit em hard and sent prophets and kill off the kings and replace them with kings who love him and the people will remember what God has done for them and turn back to him. and this cycle just continues over and over. so here are my thoughts concerning that cycle and everything.
1. a lot of the things these people did sounds so much like modern day america. its so scary to think about the amount of people that act like Israel. (this isnt a jab at obama or his leadership or anything)
2. god is so so patient and forgiving. time after time Israel runs from him and does everything except for what he sayd. and god holds to his promises not to wipe everyone out. he loves the people so much even though they couldnt care less for him.
3. i can draw so many parallels in the lives of the people in these books when it talks about sin and how they chose the easy life which is living in sin. and then i realize how great god is. he could easily destroy me because i dont always 100% live for him. but he doesnt. he waits for me to realize that i have screwed up and that i need him to fix me and pick me out of the mess i have made yet again.
god seems to be using my readings in kings and romans and things im getting out of sermons or books etc. to just continually drive home the fact that i am messed up. i dont deserve anything. but hes cleaning me up and fixing me and making me new. hes giving me new thoughts, new desires, and a new clean heart. i absolutely dont deserve his love or forgiveness or the gift he gave me when he sent jesus. yet hes given me these things. blows my mind. god is so much greater than i am. hes just. the best. literally.
kelly.
so i was in the library.
i was trying to study some life and letters of paul.
i was listening to my jesus playlist.
all of a sudden i got really frustrated. and i knew i had to talk to jesus. i've known i needed to talk to him more about africa recently. but i was avoiding it, because i didn't know if i could still hear his call to go there. so i stopped writing and put my head down. i couldn't clear my thoughts and stuff was running in and out of my head. and i was thinking, it's okay, cause i'm not expecting an immediate answer. so i was about to turn my ipod off. then "what have done" came on. so i listened to it. to the music. and to the words.
when it finished, i turned off my ipod. and then i felt something start to fade in my heart. it was like i could see a picture completely clear, and then it started to get really blurred and fuzzy, and i couldn't really see it anymore. so i was like. jesus, is this it? and jesus said. it's gone.
and then my mind was blank.
i didn't know what to think or feel. all i could think was what now? and i just sat there. so then i was like no really, jesus, do you want me to go to africa? and he said no.
and that was it.
i started to get really sad. i turned my ipod back on and "glory of it all" came on. and god said to me, it doesn't matter. what you do will be to glorify me. no matter where you are.
and that's that.
george.
so tonight i really awesome jesus time. i sat on my porch, listened to some bluegrass music, and read. first i re-read hebrews 4 and reflected and wrote about stuff i got out of it and stuff i thought of after we met last night. then i read romans 3 and 4. and im still learning so much about sin and how great god is to forgive me and still want me even though im all sinful and nasty. i guess each time im in romans im just reminded of how great he is and how small i am. and its good to be reminded of things like that.
4:21 says "God is able to do whatever he promises." i read that and it just hit me that i worry so much and worrying is such a stupid thing to do. god has everything under control. and everything has a reason. he doesnt just sit up in heaven and say "hm. i havent messed with kelly in a while. i wonder what i can do that would just totally mess up her life." nope. hes watching out for me and protecting me and just waiting for me to mess up again so he can comfort me and point out that i messed up and should have just trusted him all along.
v. 25 says that jesus was "handed over." and so i thought about what that means. he wasnt forced. wasnt tricked. he was a sacrifice. he was freely given from god to pay our price. not with the expectation that we would later re pay the price or work to earn it or anything. just offered as a gift. he just willingly came to earth to be rejected, tortured, and killed. for me. and everyone. even though he knew that people would reject his gift. hes so great. it just blows my mind sometimes that i dont deserve anything, but jesus is willing to give me everything. and so often i act like thats not even a big deal. dumb. jesus is the best. ever.
kelly.
i just got done listening to a sermon called "the irrational brilliance of trials" by todd nighswonger, a preacher at the church francis chan preaches at.
man. god has just totally blown me away. im just sitting here with my mind blown. it was a really really good but not very fun sermon to listen to. because of the things jesus pointed out to me and taught me. and after i was done listening to the sermon i wrote in my notebook a little. at first it was just gonna be thoughts and some prayers. then it turned into straight prayer/confession. and its probs good that i wrote it all down because i asked for some stuff that im probs gonna regret later. but thats necessary.
and then i was thinking about something he said that i wrote down. he said that "we re god's masterpiece." and i started thinking about that. and how nice it sounds. and then i thought about it in comparison to what jesus has been teaching me about sin. and then i combined that with what it means for something to be a masterpiece. and i was just writing as things were popping into my head. and once i got it all out i just sat here. with my mind totally blown. and in total awe and amazement to god. and how big and amazing and crazy wonderful he is. ill have to share this more on monday night. i just cant form more articulate sentences. and its too long to type out.
this is what i know. god is amazing. redemption is so awesome. and i didnt deserve it. at all. but he picked me and redeemed me and has made me new.
wow. gods freaking incredible.
kelly.
